I’m not sure how I originally came upon the blog, Raise Healthy Eaters, but from the moment I found it I was hooked! Blog owner, Maryann, is a registered dietician and a mom who speaks from practical experience on both sides–professional and parent–about how to feed our children healthy foods. Every time I read one of her posts it’s as though she’s reading my mind! Each topic has such relevance to our family in some way and offers suggestions and ideas that are practical and doable. She’s done several series on topics like managing sweets or addressing picky eaters and many more.

As part of my Back-To-School series, I’m glad to welcome her as she addresses a challenge that many of us face with our children–peer pressure when it comes to food! As my children have gotten older, the influences about the types of food they are around are many (and not always healthy) and I know that will only continue. Maryann offers some great tips on how to overcome those challenges so that everyone is a winner!

Welcome Maryann!

The school year is upon us. It’s time to pack lunches and plan dinner meals to help our kids eat well. But another not-so-pleasant reality comes along with food and eating during the school year.

Cookies. Empty-calorie snacks. And all the negative peer pressure your kids seem to get about diet.

Maybe your son starts asking for the same Lunch-ables his best friend eats everyday for school or the same colorful chips he gets when he plays over there. You might even hear your children mimic one of their friends by saying a healthy food, one they used to love, is “gross.”

You certainly can’t hide your child from food choices you don’t particularly like, but you can handle it in a way that helps your child make better food choices.
Let’s take a look.

1. Stay Neutral: When your child comes home and tells you he ate something you find appalling at his friends house, say Cheetos, it’s easy to react with disgust saying something like, “You ate what? I can’t believe you ate that!”

The same goes for requests from your kids. If they ask for something you don’t approve of for their lunch, you might go into “we never eat foods like that!”

The problem with these types of reactions is they give too much attention to these foods. Kids, being kids, will zero in on what they can’t have. And this will increase their desire for such foods more than it will decrease desire.

Instead, act neutral. When you hear they had Cheetos don’t react at all. There’s nothing you can do to change what they have already eaten so don’t even try.

2. Give them permission: After a child starts eating something outside the house, they may start asking you to buy and serve it in your home. As a parent you need to consider whether or not it is something you feel okay with serving.

If it’s a food item you don’t want to bring in your home, explain the why behind it carefully to your kids.

International feeding expert Ellyn Satter recommends the honesty approach. She suggests telling your children it’s okay for them to try different foods at other people houses but that you personally don’t feel comfortable with including those foods in your home. This erases the taboo around the items while letting yourself off the hook.

3. Create teachable moments: As much as this negative peer pressure about food gets to you, it really is a good way to teach your child about making wise food choices. Just think, when they go to college they’ll have complete freedom around food without you there telling them what to eat.

So when your child asks you why they can’t have packaged food tell them you prefer to serve fresh foods not only for health but because they taste better. Ask them to think about this the next time they have packaged cookies vs. homemade ones. Show them the ingredient lines in packaged and processed foods. You want to focus on taste and quality as much as health.

Make sure you steer away from categorizing food as good/bad or healthy/unhealthy. Instead talk about the roles different foods play in the diet. For example, fruits, vegetables and whole grains are eaten more often because they help children grow. Items like cakes and cookies are eaten less frequently. Let them know all foods can fit into a balanced diet.

This teaches your child how to eat a variety of foods without feeling “bad” for eating foods that also tastes good.

4) Emphasize manners at the table: It can be disheartening when kids turn on healthy foods as they declare to everyone that peas are now “gross!” And with a little digging you realize that their new opinion comes from a friend at school.

Resist the temptation to reason with your child about how they liked this same food just last week. This simply makes a bigger deal out of what is likely a passing phase. If a child truly enjoys a food they’ll start eating it again even if they are taking a temporary hiatus.

Instead of focusing the fact that they don’t like a food, teach them how to voice their displeasure in an acceptable way. In her books, Satter recommends teaching proper table manners when it comes to kids disliking certain foods. So instead of “this is gross” they should say “no thank you.” It is not fair for them to ruin the meal for the other family members who like what’s offered.

Kids often try to push parents buttons when it comes to food. Once they realize that you are not participating, they will stop too.

There’s a big wide world of food out there that kids learn about. But if we as parents stay neutral, give them permission to experiment and gently guide them in a balanced direction, they will be less likely to rebel against the healthy eating habits we are trying to establish.

After all, the most important aspect of raising healthy eaters is providing a foundation of pleasant, consistent and nutritious meals at home. Most often kids will return to this foundation even when they are influenced by how their friends’ eat.

Maryann Tomovich Jacobsen is a registered dietitian, mother of two and creator of Raise Healthy Eaters, a blog that provides parents with simple and sound nutrition advice.

Check out Maryann’s latest series on how to turn picky eaters into healthy eaters.