Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Who's the Pickiest Eater of Them All?

Probably the most frequent complaint I hear from parents either via email or in my workshops is that they wish their children weren't such picky eaters! Call it luck or by design, but I am thankful that my own children are not as picky as many of their friends or classmates. Sure, there's many a sandwich that has its crusts left behind or a turned up nose at the steamed peas on their plate. But in general, they eat a pretty wide variety of foods and I'm learning that that is not so much the norm. How many kids do you know under the age of ten that say Pad Thai or Pecan Crusted Salmon is one of their favorite dinners? Mine do!

How'd we do it? When my firstborn was a toddler I made her a lot of fish sticks and chicken nuggets. And a separate meal for my husband and me. I just wanted her to eat SOMETHING and I knew these would fit the bill. But when my next little one came along I found myself with far less time and the realization that I didn't have the time to make two meals. It didn't make sense either. My husband was a bit more of a stickler and we began the practice of everyone eating the same thing and that everyone needed to try at least a bite of each item (main entree, side, veggie, etc.) And if someone didn't want to eat dinner that night they would have a good breakfast. Sound drastic? Yep, it is and it's not for everyone. But for us I believe it has exposed our children to a greater variety of foods than their peers and they eat a more well-rounded diet too. Is it perfect? Certainly not. Is it balanced every day. Not necessarily. But looking at the big picture over each week, it is pretty much both of those.

But how do so many parents end up with picky eaters? I certainly don't believe to have all the answers and I'm no dietician or medical doctor (I realize sometimes there are underlying medical issues that lead children to not wanting/able to eat certain foods.  In that case you should see your doctor). But I am a mom and in teaching my workshops and visitsing with many of you, one thing I have seen over and over again is that when parents ask themselves how adventuresome they are with their own food choices, they may be surprised to find that they're not as adventursome they think. I know lots of people that SAY they eat many different things but when it comes time to making meals to share with them or go out to eat the limitations come in. "Oh, I don't like anything with tomato sauce." Or "Yes, I love dessert, but it's not if it has strawberries, chocolate or anything with nuts." Yes, we're all allowed to have preferences and favorites but when those limitations are happening more often than not, it maybe trickling down to your chilren too. Remember they learn as much (or more!) from our actions as they do from our words.  So taking a look at yourself might yield some more surprising results than you ever thought and may challenge you to broaden your taste buds a little too!

So, you say, that's all fine and well, but how to I change it NOW? Perhaps, you've gotten into the trap of making a separate meal for your child and he or she is now eight years old and you're not sure how to begin. It may be gradual but it can be done! You've probably heard that it takes something like ten or twenty times (or maybe more) to introduce a child to a new food before they might want to try it---and that's not twenty times in a row! That may be twenty times over a six-month period! One thing I have found that works when introducing new foods is what I call the Two-Thirds/One-Third Rule.  That means, of the selections on the plate, two-thirds should be foods that you know your child will eat and one-third the new food for them to try. That way you can feel good knowing that they might at least eat something and fill their tummies.

Picky eaters are a complicated thing and there's no simple answer. It's kind of a grey line between a meal-prep challenge and a parenting challenge. But I hope some of my tips help you develop eaters that learn to love a variety of foods and the many, many flavors and combinations they can try in their lifetime. Good luck and I'd love your feedback!